A memorable first day & night

Well it was on a Tuesday, 08/19/08 and we got in the car around 10:30am and headed to Agape to “officially” pick up S & A.  WOW…what a day.  We were exhausted because I think we both slept a combined 2 hours the night before and well the boys were typical S & A…..excited about something new. 

Bless their hearts as we have since learned…they don’t meet strangers…everyone is a “friend” and someone nice (this is a topic for another day but needless to say…it scares the bejesuses out of Michael how friendly they are)….i digress…anyways we spent maybe 15 to 30 minutes talking with their biological mother and our case manager to discuss the boys and I have to say it was one of the few times in my life that I was tongue tied and didn’t know what to ask or what to say….all I could do was hug her and tell her that we promise to take good care of her boys….we then took them to eat lunch at Taco Bell while their biological mother went with Agape’s representatives to the lawyer’s office to voluntarily surrender her parental rights.  I would like to go on record as saying that I believe the boys’ biological mother loves them very much and they knew they were loved….they have that confidence, but I do believe that they lived a life style that can be described as homeless.  She was upfront in saying that she was young, single, and living in a shelter when she gave birth to S and we can tell by the boy’s behaviors and statements that they probably slept many a night in their car.  I do not know if she was unwilling to change her lifestyle or did not know how to change her lifestyle but I believe she was at her wits end with the responsibility of caring for both the boys and made a very difficult decision.  She did not appear to have much in the way of family support or family that she trusted…do she trusted Agape to find the right family for her boys.  Needless to say the goodbye was difficult and again we were so…hhhhmmm….uncomfortable is not the right word but I can’t seem to find it…all I could do was hug her, reassure her that we would provide regular updates to Agape, and that we promise to love, cherish, and try to provide a quality home for the boys.  We were pretty much an emotional basketcase….you know they did not include this conversation in our foster parent training

So we stop by Target on the way home later that evening (whew…what a long day) to pick up a few necessities for that night (2 baskets full ) and then we get home.  We take them on a “tour” of our house and show them each room to help them get comfortable in the space and of course they just love it because it has stairs and they can slide down them….ha ha ha…you have to love the innocence of children.  So we go thru what is now our normal nighttime routine, bath, brush teeth, vitamins, 2 books, night night music, and then to bed….but at this point S (who is the oldest and was being so brave) just broke down and both our hearts just broke.  He was so scared and how do you alleviate a small child’s fears when they are true….he missed him Mom, this place was strange, and how could he trust us?  It didn’t matter that I held him and rocked him while Daddy (Michael) was holding A…..so I lied…I know I know I shouldn’t have done it but you have to know my heart was breaking for him and I did not know any other way to ease his pain…so I told him that the Incredible Hulk and SpiderMan patrol our neighborhood and they are here to protect little boys like him and his brother (at this point they did not know God/Jesus and they believe in SuperHeroes)….well you could see that he needed to believe this and then asked if I knew their phone number so that we could call…so quick thinking me…I said sure.  I got up went to my bedroom took the phone in my bathroom and called Poppa (my dad) and told him the situation and asked if he would pretend to be Hulk or Spidey.  I can look back and smile because I don’t have the words to describe the relief that S had on his face when he spoke with Hulk and obviously Poppa did a great job because we haven’t had to call Hulk again but every once in a while S will mention at bedtime that he wonders if Hulk & Spidey are out there now?  Again isn’t it amazing the blessing of a child’s innocence?  

Til nex time…which will be in a few minutes he he he

Okay….let’s try this again

As the title says I am going to try this again.  Obviously I am not good at this and really I started this blog back in January 2008 but then as Michael & I went thruour foster parent training I was scared that I would get too personal, etc….but so much of our family is out of town in AR & TX or even over seas (Hi Aunt Rita & Uncle Rob) so it’s pretty much a necessity to keep everyone happy with current pics of the boys.

So here we are trying to pick it back up and I am making a solemn (he he he) promise not to get too personal from now on…we will keep it fun and light hearted for awhile.

So as all my family and close friends know…we are foster parents and in the process of adopting the cutest little boys that are brothers.  For our privacy we will call them S & A because we know that their birth mother has access to the wonderful world wide web and at this time we are choosing to communicate with her via Georgia Agape for various reasons.

S & A were placed with us on August 19th and it has been a roller coaster ride since then…lot of love, hugs, kisses, laughter, crying, homesickness, and fear.  We are ALL definitely learning how to integrate this family unit and so far I have to believe that God has had a hand it and it is going really well.  I will try and get everyone caught up to speed over the next couple of weeks.

For now here are some pics from their first night with us and pics from this past weekend.  It’s like night and day don’t you think?

1st night (ignore the fat lady in the middle & how do you like those mohawks?)

This past weekend playing around the house

 

 

 

Well til next time….

Hello world!

As WordPress said…Hello world!  I am starting a blog to try and document what is happening my uninteresting life.  I probably will not have any “grand” stories of travel but you know what…I am okay with that.  Michael and I have a good life and we are getting ready to make a decision that could make it a great life.  Should we become foster parents?  As you can tell from my inference….I so want this to happen but Michael (right fully so) has some questions.  We have officially started our foster parent training with Georgia Agape due to be completed the weekend of March 1st.  OMG…..WOW….I can’t hardly stand it and I am so trying not to “bug” Michael about this because I know he has to be on board 100% for this to work.  

For those that do not know us; we have been married for over 13 years and we have never been blessed with a child.  No pregnancies, no miscarriages, and no medical reason that we do not conceive naturally….that is probably the most frustrating part of our inferility…no answers to our questions!  For those that have struggled with infertiliy, you understand the pain and frustration that I have felt over the years.  I had a checklist of goals and accomplishments that I wanted for my life when I was young: 

1. graduate college

2.  fall in love

3.  get married

4.  live in the city

5.  buy a house with 2 bathrooms within 3 -5 years

6.  start a family within 1 year of moving in our new home (I even have 6 names already picked; 3 boys and 3 girls)

Needless to say this list didn’t happen the way I planned nor have all of these items been officially checked off even though it is 15 years later .  Now that I am older and wiser I notice when I review this list is that it didn’t leave room for God plan for me….hhhmmm that maybe the problem.  What do you think?  So that is what I am ready to do; start learning to let go of my control; refocus on my spiritual life and Christianity,and let God’s plan for us take shape.  Hopefully his plan  includes children; whether they are biological or not does not matter to me but I suspect it matters to Michael.  He has never come right out and said it but sometimes we are our loudest when we do not say anything. 

Well that is all of my ramblings for today and hopefully I will get better at this.  So til next time….