A memorable first day & night

Well it was on a Tuesday, 08/19/08 and we got in the car around 10:30am and headed to Agape to “officially” pick up S & A.  WOW…what a day.  We were exhausted because I think we both slept a combined 2 hours the night before and well the boys were typical S & A…..excited about something new. 

Bless their hearts as we have since learned…they don’t meet strangers…everyone is a “friend” and someone nice (this is a topic for another day but needless to say…it scares the bejesuses out of Michael how friendly they are)….i digress…anyways we spent maybe 15 to 30 minutes talking with their biological mother and our case manager to discuss the boys and I have to say it was one of the few times in my life that I was tongue tied and didn’t know what to ask or what to say….all I could do was hug her and tell her that we promise to take good care of her boys….we then took them to eat lunch at Taco Bell while their biological mother went with Agape’s representatives to the lawyer’s office to voluntarily surrender her parental rights.  I would like to go on record as saying that I believe the boys’ biological mother loves them very much and they knew they were loved….they have that confidence, but I do believe that they lived a life style that can be described as homeless.  She was upfront in saying that she was young, single, and living in a shelter when she gave birth to S and we can tell by the boy’s behaviors and statements that they probably slept many a night in their car.  I do not know if she was unwilling to change her lifestyle or did not know how to change her lifestyle but I believe she was at her wits end with the responsibility of caring for both the boys and made a very difficult decision.  She did not appear to have much in the way of family support or family that she trusted…do she trusted Agape to find the right family for her boys.  Needless to say the goodbye was difficult and again we were so…hhhhmmm….uncomfortable is not the right word but I can’t seem to find it…all I could do was hug her, reassure her that we would provide regular updates to Agape, and that we promise to love, cherish, and try to provide a quality home for the boys.  We were pretty much an emotional basketcase….you know they did not include this conversation in our foster parent training

So we stop by Target on the way home later that evening (whew…what a long day) to pick up a few necessities for that night (2 baskets full ) and then we get home.  We take them on a “tour” of our house and show them each room to help them get comfortable in the space and of course they just love it because it has stairs and they can slide down them….ha ha ha…you have to love the innocence of children.  So we go thru what is now our normal nighttime routine, bath, brush teeth, vitamins, 2 books, night night music, and then to bed….but at this point S (who is the oldest and was being so brave) just broke down and both our hearts just broke.  He was so scared and how do you alleviate a small child’s fears when they are true….he missed him Mom, this place was strange, and how could he trust us?  It didn’t matter that I held him and rocked him while Daddy (Michael) was holding A…..so I lied…I know I know I shouldn’t have done it but you have to know my heart was breaking for him and I did not know any other way to ease his pain…so I told him that the Incredible Hulk and SpiderMan patrol our neighborhood and they are here to protect little boys like him and his brother (at this point they did not know God/Jesus and they believe in SuperHeroes)….well you could see that he needed to believe this and then asked if I knew their phone number so that we could call…so quick thinking me…I said sure.  I got up went to my bedroom took the phone in my bathroom and called Poppa (my dad) and told him the situation and asked if he would pretend to be Hulk or Spidey.  I can look back and smile because I don’t have the words to describe the relief that S had on his face when he spoke with Hulk and obviously Poppa did a great job because we haven’t had to call Hulk again but every once in a while S will mention at bedtime that he wonders if Hulk & Spidey are out there now?  Again isn’t it amazing the blessing of a child’s innocence?  

Til nex time…which will be in a few minutes he he he